Sunday, April 09, 2006

NEWSFLASH - A Reformed Man..

Rumours are spreading around the area of Dapto that he has changed!!!



The profits of the Dapto Leagues Club are down, the neighbours are sleeping soundly, and the streets of Kanahooka are returning to normal... the era of "Wishy Washy Walshy" are upon us.

A change has been noticed in "The Man". The toilet seat is always left down, the car is washed, the room is cleaner and he is doing exercise!! Yes, readers it is true

Rumours are that he has been tamed by a stonger force, a lion tamer, a scientist with DNA changing technology, a woman!...

The House of Broadley cannot release her name in the press due to legal constraints, yet we can include some photos of this mysterious woman. We salute you, we admire you, but most of all we thank you...

Friday, March 31, 2006

Happy Birthday Camilla!

You have grown up so much!!


Happy Birthday Camilla from the House of Broadley!


Sunday, March 26, 2006

It's a Girl!! Welcome Katelin...

Congratulations to Andrew, Michelle and Tim..

NEWSFLASH - Royal Visit - Sept 2005

Parents can't hide their excitement and meeting their son inlaw ...

The weeks of preparations are over!! Finally the day of excitement has come. Crowds lined the E20 all the way from Arlanda Airport to see the arrival of the parents inlaw. There were Swedish Flags everywhere held by children in their national dress. "It was a sea of Blue and yellow" described a motorist who stopped by the highway to see the VIP couple from Luleå.

"It's just so exciting!" a small girl from Arboga explained .. "I have never met anyone of such importance from the North of Sweden before. I just hope they wave at me"

This scene was repeated all over the län. After a few introductions and offical events, the family were left to be together again. The House of Broadley has a few photos for our readers.




NEWSFLASH - Luleå Abduction by Infatuated Lulebo!-JULY 2005


In the early hours of the morning, the peaceful streets of Hertsön were awoken to the sound of screeching car tires and hooligans. A friendship gone bad had caused two young blonde men (and another Australian) to abduct an Australian coming to Luleå for his wedding.


The residents looked on in horror as they covered his face and made him get changed into a female swimsuit and tight shorts. Shortly after they drove him all over Norrland and forced him to do strange acts for their sick pleasure and satisfaction. A police road block was masterfully bypassed by the driver only known as "Docke", his scream of fear in the car led the police to believe that a female was driving the car and they let him pass.

After a 14 hour absence the victim was returned with only a few physical scars, but only after more professional help will he know of the mental damage. We organised a short interview asking him of the ordeal:

"I was scared! I just didn't know what was going to happen. In car they came really close to me and kept asking me strange questions. I think the larger blonde man had been drinking heavily. Now I am just happy to be home. I feel violated and used after this incident and I hope that these sickos are found! If anyone has seen a pair of young men in the Luleå area looking like the pop group BROS, please call the police immediately"

The investigation continues. The HOUSE OF BROADLEY has uncovered amature photos of the event for our readers which have been forwarded to the police.

NEWSFLASH - Father Pretends to be Normal for his Son's Baptism-Jan 2006


In the Norweigen Church in Manly, a Wollongong man was officially recognised as being a father to a very cute baby.

The man, who wishes to remain nameless, was overjoyed to be invited to the Baptism. He was so excited that after the ceremony he rushed to the front and celebrated by putting the baby's ceremonial hat on.

Despite this disruption, he was well behaved and was kept calm by his elegant wife. Both of the couple were happy at the occasion. The father told us:

"It's great to be here! I have been practicing my Norweigen and now I have 15 children's bibles to read also. I am looking forward to putting my son into a Rugby team, but not before he is ready of course. My guess is that at about the 8 months mark I can begin with tackle training"

A celebrity couple also arrived for the baptism from Sweden. They wish to remain nameless and their identies have been hidden by a deep tan.


NEWSFLASH - New Driving Regulations for Immigrant Drivers in Sweden.

In an attempt by the Road Authority in Sweden to ensure safer roads smaller cars have been made mandatory.

Research has shown that 40% of non-Swedish born citizens drive faster than Swedish born drivers. In an new strategy (involving higher taxes after summer) smaller cars have been introduced. The Road Authority spokesman Mr Q Lapp explains..

" Well, We wanted to learn our new drivers to be responsible and keep to the laws of our country. We have had many complaints from concerned citizens about immigrants owning larger cars and not showing caution in child/ school areas. In a response to this we spent 10 years in a Kommun working group to recommend a 3 point plan. Firstly, smaller cars are to be issued to all immigrant drivers, secondly all immigrants are to be assigned one child to sit in their car to ensure that they are no longer in front of the car, and thirdly we have decided that each car should not be discriminated against. Each car shall have a sticker saying "Immigrant in front in small Car. Please pass slowly with political correctness at all times"

New trials have begun within the Örebro area. If the plan is successful they believe it will go national and also raise taxes.